Quarter Life Crisis? | A look back and a look into the future

 Don't get me wrong, I like to think my relationship is perfect. The man of my dreams not only showing me love, but supporting me 100% of the time. What more can a guy ask for. As I am about to hit the grand old age of 25, I want to take this time to reflect and look into the next 5 years of my life. Enjoy learning a little bit about my choices and some motivation for you!

You grow up being told you need to settle into a career. Go from secondary school (high school) to college then college to university. As I left school securing a place in college to study social sciences, I really thought my life was on track. I wanted to complete studying social sciences and move into criminology - to then secure a job within the police force. I had it all set out, the plan was there. My career was there to achieve. As the course went on, I was achieving everything I needed to succeed. Then I failed the psychology part of the course. Panic sets in - I have 2 more chances to pass. I fail both times, I like to blame this on Freud - I could never remember certain things we learnt about his methods. I was awarded the other parts of the course but not the whole course as I failed psychology. Thanks a lot Freud.

However, I am not the best person to stick to one thing, the reason behind that is because I haven't really seen anyone before go through college, go to university then graduate into a career. Maybe I didn't feel like I could achieve this within my life. There was no previous examples within my life at that time that inspired me to achieve the best for myself. Maybe I was doomed from the get go.

Now this is not a pity party at all, this is more of a motivator - a way for me to reflect and grow. It's about time I focus and get shit done!

I took a year out, frankly I just didn't know my options. I didn't know where to go from not achieving the full social science course. Looking back at that now, I should have just went on to study sociology or moved into studying business, that's always a great way to go! But no, I decided to waste time and get nothing done. 

Getting worried about not having a solid career to move into. I turned back to the college application pages. I flick through and land on the Fashion page. I see myself as a fashionable person and I did really enjoy studying art at school. So I click on it. My eyes light up and I feel inspired. I really seen myself becoming the Aberdeen version of Donatella Versace - me Dylan building a fashion house? yes please. 

Looking back on this, what a twat I was. This was never really gonna be a great idea, what was I thinking. Irrational is what I was thinking!

So I apply for the Fashion and Manufacture course. To my amazement - I was accepted. Now this course was extremely fun and I wish I took the time to actually finish it. A family members' death struck me really bad during this course which cut it short. 

However, I did re-apply the year after as I wanted to ensure I finished it. This was not the case. Im not gonna lie, I got lazy and unmotivated. as I already done most of the course, I felt like I did not want to continue doing the same things over. The head of the department really seen something within me, she got behind me trying to motivate me and really wanted me to succeed. What a fool I was in not working with them and getting some amazing things done. Looking back I really wish I wasn't so stupid and stuck at it. You never know I could have really been Aberdeen's Donatella Versace! 

At that point in my life I felt like studying really wasn't my calling in life. Its funny how we are told education is key, but I could never find the right course to study. Maybe my will was too weak or maybe I did not believe in myself. What ever it was, I really am kicking myself now, I should have stuck it out and given everything I done 100%! 

Saying that I've worked within retail for seven years and I wanted to create something for myself, so I decided to launch my own business. You can read my last blog about that and how I managed to succeed in doing so. However, a year has elapsed and being the realist that I am - I know Boujee Parfum won't be a huge success that I envision it to be. I am extremely proud of everything I have achieved over the last year. Ive proved that I can do what ever I can set my mind to. Maybe my failed course attempts at college have inspired me to stick things out. Maybe a lesson was really learnt, too late in my life?

Don't get me wrong, I know everyone who knows me fully supports me and wants the best for me. But I don't know what is best for me. Am I lost? I really need to get it together, focus and get a plan together. I need to move on from retail and thrive in whatever I choose to do next. So whatever I do next really needs to be something I will love and enjoy. 

2022

As I look into the new year I really do see myself moving into a new career. I have been so inspired in 2021 and a fire has been lit under me to focus. I really do see a brighter year ahead. 

I have decided to take up swimming lessons. I have never really seen myself as a strong swimmer and I haven't been swimming in years. It will be a great way to not only stay healthy, but to get into a routine. It will help me with my career change in the new year. 

I have been feeling more motivated to get things done. I am the best person to procrastinate and put things off. I may come off as confident to some, but I am the biggest introvert ever. I am working on this. I know I am a great individual who can achieve what ever I wanna do. So from now on I will never say whatever can be done today - can be done tomorrow, let's get it done today!

My family have always been proud of me and extremely supportive. That has always given me an ego boost. But I've never really believed in myself. 

This brings me to the point of my relationship. Five years already with James who is such a great guy, what did I do to deserve him! Wedding bells better start ringing! I guess I really need to be thankful and appreciative a little more. Not only to him but to myself too!

The next 5 months calls for a lot of hard work. In the sense of gearing myself up to make a huge change within my life. I have been far too comfortable for far too long. It's about time I stepped up and done more within my life to support the one who supports me. I really need to focus and remember I am worthy of doing what ever I set my mind to. 

I guess this is more of reminder blog to myself, a place where I can write what I feel and refer back to it over the coming months to motivate myself. This is also a blog to remind anyone who finds themselves in the same positions as I was in. Remind yourself you can and YOU WILL. Stick studying out even if it's not 100% for you, finish that course and re-evaluate where you are when you have secured that certificate/degree. This way you will not regret not sticking at it later in life! 

Sometimes the best way to learn is by learning from other people's mistakes.

Write out what you want to achieve over the next five years. Create a solid step by step plan and get to work on creating the best you. It's time to motivate yourself to be your best self.

I wanted to create this blog for me to self reflect and come back to over the next few months. But also create it in a sense to help inspire and motivate anyone who finds themselves questioning what the F they're doing with their lives. 

Life is extremely short so get out there and do what you need to! Find yourself in a dead end job that makes you depressed? - find something new that will inspire you and get your creativity flowing! Look, your life is yours to fulfil - so get out there and kill it! 

xo - Dylan 

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